21 Viral Hits, by Petrol Hoers And Friends

21 Viral Hits

by Petrol Hoers And Friends

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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Please note intentional misspelling of horse, 21 Viral Hits, Oh I Don't Know, Just Horse Stuff, I Guess, LIVE ALBOM, THE SAME AGAIN BUT WITH THE WORDS ARE DIFFERENT, REALLY GOOD AND SEXY, and ALBOM. , and , .

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1.	The Great Pasta Famine Of 2020AD 01:03	lyrics	buy track
I just want some pasta shapes I want some fucking pasta shapes They're out of bog roll, beans and grapes And out of fucking pasta shapes I make a banging mac and cheese Carbonara and bolognese My pasta never overboils And I drown the cunts in olive oil When I find the total bastards Who are stockpiling all the pastas The world is gonna feel the sting Of my al dente reckoning I feel like pure shit I just want the pasta back When I'm stoned or when I'm sick It's my favourite tasty snack I just want some pasta shapes I want some fucking pasta shapes They're out of bog roll, beans and grapes And out of fucking pasta shapes
2.	Big Lies From Blue Ties 00:40	lyrics	buy track
War in our class War in our streets War within our homes War we should beat Convinced to divide up the working class by aristocrat toffs who've never seen a day's graft Convinced to live through perpetual conflict by people in suits who seek death for profit Austerity's destroying me I need some human decency To give my life security And extend my prosperity
3.	2 Metres 00:07	lyrics	buy track
2 metres is not a safe distance from a hoarding tory cunt like you
4.	Selfish Cunts 00:49	lyrics	buy track
The worlds gone to chaos And what do we do We turn into a bunch of selfish cunts Stockpiling to prevent the virus Is just spreading the virus Stay indoors and only take what you need Stop being a bunch of selfish cunts
5.	Nigel Farage Dead In A Garage 00:17	lyrics	buy track
Britain now rests easy From one less UKIPer They'll find him by a jar of screws and a bottle of paint stripper Nigel Farage Nigel Farage Nigel Farage Dead in a garage Nigel Farage Nigel Farage Nigel Farage Dead in a garage
6.	Scalped 01:21	lyrics	buy track
I want your scalp Give me your scalp Yeah, I picked these up for fifty pence each Wrapped, Bottled, Foiled, Tinned Yeah, you can have one for fifteen quid each I'm gonna make a fuckin' mint I want your scalp Give me your scalp Sorry mate, this was the last one left 'Cept for the ten I've got in 'ere It'll set you back an arm and a leg We prefer the term 'entrepreneur' I want your scalp Give me your scalp Global pandemic or not I'm gonna take you for everything you've got
7.	Scrub Them Hands 00:14	lyrics	buy track
Scrub them hands
8.	Locusts 01:14	info	buy track
9.	The Ballad Of Papa John 00:05	lyrics	buy track
Life's too short for shitty pizza
10.	23-19 01:40	info	buy track
11.	Beaten Black And Tory Blue 00:50	lyrics	buy track
You fascist scum have all been played If you think cutting foreign aid Will mean more cash for hospitals It doesn't make no sense at all Vote for Tory and others get What you deserve you piece of shit So if you really give 2 fucks Charity begins at the ballot box There's no one coming to save you Your myopic selfishness is your downfall Hoarding your wealth, protecting yourself when The world is bigger than you
12.	Puerile Grindcorona Tips 00:05	lyrics	buy track
Lyrics/vocals: Wesley Stripes Music/production: Petrol Hoers
13.	Insanitizer 00:56	info	buy track
14.	Some Things Never Change 01:47	lyrics	buy track
Oi, lets hear it for the key workers yeah!? Never thought you’d be wanking off a shopkeeper for bog roll did you? Lockdown, the planet has never been happier Low pollution, sunshine, clean air and quiet streets But something stirs, on a retail park close to home A man spies the last remaining bag of penne in the town Now its war Covid fear Somethings never change Consume consume and waste Now its war Covid fear Panic buy Consume consume and die The gloves are off, they don’t work if you don’t change them The masks are on, but they don’t protect anyone Fists are raised, but nannas want penne pasta too Human race, I am disgusted by you
15.	BoJoke 00:06	info	buy track
16.	Coughing Dodger 00:13	lyrics	buy track
Duck and cover From those who splutter Exacerbating paranoia got you looking like a joker I haven't got a virus I'm just a fuckin smoker
17.	Race Of Teeth 01:47	lyrics	buy track
Who will be the first to fill their home with rotten goods With more shit than the population of Bridlington ever could Use in a fuckin' year, never mind your two week spell in bed What you really need to sanitise is your stupid fucking head Who runs the race of teeth? You cannot stop the race of teeth Who will come first in the race of teeth We are a race of teeth I hope your sixty packs of bog roll ward the reaper from your home I can straight up guarantee this viral tide of origins unknown Gives zero fucks about your thirteenth tin of spam Not a single thought or moment to spare for your fellow man
18.	Dear Dystopian Diary 00:17	lyrics	buy track
Monday: wake up Tuesday: spark up Wednesday: slack off Thursday: jack off Friday: fuck up Saturday: give up Sunday: bad cough COVID: fuck off Quarantine is lots of fun My hobby is finding new ways to wipe my bum
19.	Lockdown 01:03	lyrics	buy track
We need to look out for one and other Don’t forget to check on your friends and neighbours Don’t go out unless you really have to Staying 2 meters apart isn’t a lot to ask for We are on lockdown Brought it upon ourselves Don’t go outside unless it’s essential We can get through this We live in a digital age Where we can socialise And interact Without leaving our homes
20.	No Entry 02:00	info	buy track
21.	Wash Your Hands 00:20	lyrics	buy track
Wash wash wash your hands Keep them nice and clean But don’t take all the soap Cos that is fucking mean

about

This release is pay-as-you-feel with all proceeds going towards The Trussell Trust, a UK charity supporting food banks nationwide. If you can afford to donate please either name your price during download or ideally go to the Justgiving page at www.justgiving.com/fundraising/petrol-hoers and donate there so they can benefit from gift aid! If you can't afford to donate right now that's OK; enter £0 as your price and you can download for free.

21 Viral Hits is a collaboration between Petrol Hoers and vocalists across the country who answered his call. The initial pitch was pretty straightforward:

"DO YOU WRITE SONGS OR DO SHOUTY VOCALS? ARE YOU ANGRY ABOUT PEOPLE HOARDING BOG ROLL? DO YOU WANT TO CONTRIBUTE TO AN ALBUM OF RIFFS AND BLASTBEATS AND SHOUTING TO TRY AND RAISE SOME MONEY FOR CHARITY?
WE NEED PEOPLE TO WRITE LYRICS AND RECORD VOCALS FOR SOME SHORT SHOUTY SONGS PLEASE HMU IF YOU CAN HELP :3"

but soon resulted in a group of vocalists/lyricists putting pen to paper and then voice to microphone (or in some cases smartphone...) to lay down vocal parts while Hoers worked as a one-horse grind machine to write and record as many tracks as possible. Song subjects were agreed, production advice given and shrieking beast of an album was pieced together that was a triumph of remote collaboration.

With original cover art by Cat Bowen as the finishing touch, this album looks as massive as it sounds.

credits

released May 8, 2020

Lyrics/vocals:

Captain Rehab - Tracks 1, 11 and 18
Dani Graves, Dani Scum (The Luddite Collective) - Tracks 4, 19 and 21
Dom Bailey (Cult of the Wolf) - Tracks 5 and 9
George Garnett (Smiling Assassin) - Tracks 2 and 16
Josh Brown - Tracks 6, 7 and 17
Karl Banks (Silk Stratosphere) - Track 10
Si (Paresis) - Tracks 3 and 14
Voodoo Kate (Deja Voodoo People) - Tracks 13 and 20
Wesley Stripes - Track 12
Yamon (Binary 9) - Tracks 8 and 15

Cover art:

Cat Bowen
deviantart.com/queencordite

Additional cover design:

Ben Atomgrinder

Music/Production/Mastering:

Petrol Hoers

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PETROL HOERS York, UK

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