Oh I Don't Know, Just Horse Stuff, I Guess

by PETROL HOERS

supported by

grasbysaurus It’s fast, it’s heavy, it’s clever, it sounds beautiful.
That it was made by a horse makes it all the more spectacular. Favorite track: Cross Words.

avery belter after belter with dumb as shit lyrics sung with such conviction that they dont even pass off as jokes until you read them. 10/10 would hoers again Favorite track: Cross Words.

zombiejoe I had the digital but needed the physical! I would be happy to re-buy the rest of the releases should they also be released physically, just throwing it out there! Favorite track: #Horseproblems.

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Full Digital Discography

7

releases

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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Please note intentional misspelling of horse, 21 Viral Hits, Oh I Don't Know, Just Horse Stuff, I Guess, LIVE ALBOM, THE SAME AGAIN BUT WITH THE WORDS ARE DIFFERENT, REALLY GOOD AND SEXY, and ALBOM. , and , .

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Oh I Don't Know, Just Horse Stuff, I Guess CD
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1.	Intro 01:41		buy track
2.	Music Is Serious Business 02:03	lyrics	buy track
Music's really boring if you just play your set Music's really boring if you just play your set Music's really boring if you just play your set You need to play the kind of show that no-one will forget You can't be a horse in your pants Music is serious business You can't do a silly dance Music is serious business You can't do artwork in comic sans Music is serious business You can't play a gig without a full band Music is serious business You can't be a horse in your pants Music is serious business You can't do a silly dance Music is serious business You can't do artwork in comic sans Music is serious business You can't play a gig without a full band Music is serious business
3.	#Horseproblems 03:20	lyrics	buy track
Have you ever tried to sup a cup of tea with hooves Hashtag horse problems Have you ever tried to drink a tasty pint with hooves Hashtag horse problems Have you ever tried to shred a fat riff with hooves Hashtag horse problems Have you ever tried to play a blast beat with hooves Hashtag horse problems Because of these hooves my stress levels are through the roof I'm tense like you wouldn't believe and I can't get any relief Because of these hooves my stress levels are through the roof I'm tense like you wouldn't believe and I can't get any relief Have you ever tried to swing a cricket bat with hooves Hashtag horse problems Have you ever tried to play a round of golf with hooves Hashtag horse problems Have you ever tried to ride a motorbike with hooves Hashtag horse problems Have you ever tried to cast a fishing line with hooves Hashtag horse problems Have you ever tried to sup a cup of tea with hooves Hashtag horse problems Have you ever tried to drink a tasty pint with hooves Hashtag horse problems Have you ever tried to shred a fat riff with hooves Hashtag horse problems Have you ever tried to play a blast beat with hooves Hashtag horse problems
4.	Look Me In The Eye 02:48	lyrics	buy track
Look me in the eye when you're singing at me Stop staring at the floor when you're strumming at me Look me in the eye when you're singing at me Stop gurning into space when you're drumming at me Look me in the eye when you're singing at me Stop staring at the floor when you're strumming at me Look me in the eye when you're singing at me Stop gurning into space when you're drumming at me You there standing at the front It's your job to make this fun Don't be scared and don't be shy Stop standing there so terrified You there standing at the front It's your job to make this fun Don't be scared and don't be shy Stop standing there so terrified Look me in the eye when you're singing at me Stop staring at the floor when you're strumming at me Look me in the eye when you're singing at me Stop gurning into space when you're drumming at me Look me in the eye when you're singing at me Stop staring at the floor when you're strumming at me Look me in the eye when you're singing at me Stop gurning into space when you're drumming at me You should never talk in between your songs Unless you're a professional comedian it will always go wrong Cos no-one gives a fuck about your band's in-jokes, none of us will get it Your nervous lack of eye contact make you look pathetic Look me in the eye when you're singing at me Stop staring at the floor when you're strumming at me Look me in the eye when you're singing at me Stop gurning into space when you're drumming at me Look me in the eye when you're singing at me Stop staring at the floor when you're strumming at me Look me in the eye when you're singing at me Stop gurning into space when you're drumming at me Look me in the eye when you're singing at me Singing at me Stop staring at the floor when you're strumming at me Strumming at me Look me in the eye when you're singing at me Singing at me Stop gurning into space when you're drumming at me Drumming at me Look me in the eye when you're singing at me Singing at me Stop staring at the floor when you're strumming at me Strumming at me Look me in the eye when you're singing at me Singing at me Stop gurning into space when you're drumming at me Drumming at me
5.	Cross Words 02:41	lyrics	buy track
First I drink a cognac then a twenty year malt Got to get ready for this evening's assault Half a pint of Stella and a packet of crisps I'm gonna show the world what an animal is Yes please love, I'll have half a pint of cider There's two sides to me, I'm like Jekyll and Hyde Got to get off now lads, I'm expecting trouble Got to get stuck in to my crossword puzzle I don't like to dance and I don't like to fight But what else can you do on a Saturday night While my mates are all out looking for a scuffle I'm sat here in my shed with a crossword puzzle I don't like to dance and I don't like to fight But what else can you do on a Saturday night While my mates are all out looking for a scuffle I'm sat here in my shed with a crossword puzzle I get home late, it's way past five My missus is waiting for me to arrive She has my special pen and my dressing gown All I can think about is seven down We met last night, my most recent foe I won't let it get away, I won't let it go I'm not going to fail, I won't let it win I'm going to fill this crossword in I don't like to dance and I don't like to fight But what else can you do on a Saturday night While my mates are all out looking for a scuffle I'm sat here in my shed with a crossword puzzle I don't like to dance and I don't like to fight But what else can you do on a Saturday night While my mates are all out looking for a scuffle I'm sat here in my shed with a crossword puzzle I don't like to dance and I don't like to fight But what else can you do on a Saturday night While my mates are all out looking for a scuffle I'm sat here in my shed with a crossword puzzle I don't like to dance and I don't like to fight But what else can you do on a Saturday night While my mates are all out looking for a scuffle I'm sat here in my shed with a crossword puzzle
6.	Toilets 02:40	lyrics	buy track
I really like fine dining I like a three course meal I like fine wine and caviar I like a tender veal I like foie gras I like cigars I even like expensive cars I like Rolex watches And I really like a nice ming vase But even more that all of that My one and only secret shame The thing that brings me to my knees The sight of gleaming porcelain I like a big urinal I like Armitage Shanks When I see a toilet I have to do my toilet dance Take me to the toilet Take me to the toilet Take me to the toilet Take me to the toilet Toilets are amazing They're fun for boys and girls There are toilets everywhere We live in a toilet world Toilets make me happy They are super great I drop my pants and sit on one When I need to defecate Take me to the toilet Take me to the toilet Take me to the toilet Take me to the toilet Take me to the toilet Toilets are amazing Take me to the toilet Toilets are amazing Take me to the toilet Toilets are amazing Take me to the toilet Toilets are amazing
7.	Skate Fast Gain Mass 03:11	lyrics	buy track
I've got a new hobby and it's taking over my life I've got a new hobby and it's taking over my life I've got a new hobby and it's taking over my life I've got a new hobby and it's taking over my life If anybody wants me I'll be down the gym If anybody wants me I'll be down the gym If anybody wants me I'll be down the gym If anybody wants me I'll be down the gym Doing some squats Doing some squats Do some squats you puny humans Do some squats you puny humans Do some squats you puny humans Do some squats you puny humans It'll give you massive thighs and buns of steel It'll give you massive thighs and buns of steel It'll give you massive thighs and buns of steel It'll give you massive thighs and buns of steel Because I wanna be a horse with steely buns I wanna be a horse with steely buns I wanna be a horse with steely buns Yes I wanna be a horse with steely buns Doing some squats Doing some squats Do some squats you puny humans Do some squats you puny humans Do some squats you puny humans Do some squats you puny humans The reason I like lifting weights: it helps me with my roller skates My legs are kill. Squats are great; that's why I do them every day The reason I like lifting weights: it helps me with my roller skates My legs are kill. Squats are great; that's why I do them every day The reason I like lifting weights: it helps me with my roller skates My legs are kill. Squats are great; that's why I do them every day The reason I like lifting weights: it helps me with my roller skates My legs are kill. Squats are great; that's why I do them every day Do some squats Do some squats Do some squats Do some squats Do some squats Puny humans Do some squats Puny humans Do some squats You puny humans Do some squats You puny humans I've been diagnosed; I've got a sickness I've been diagnosed; I've got a sickness I've been diagnosed; I've got a sickness I've been diagnosed; I've got a sickness The only cure is squats for days The only cure is squats for days The only cure is squats for days The only cure is squats for days Do some squats Do some squats Do some squats Do some squats Do some squats You puny humans Do some squats You puny humans Do some squats You puny humans Do some squats You puny humans
8.	Help Me I Am In Horse 02:40	lyrics	buy track
Help me Help me Behind my rubberized equine visage I close my eyes So I can't see although I couldn't if I tried They say that life is fleeting but my heart keeps on beating And I'll be a horse until the day I die Help me I am in horse Help me I am In horse help me I am in horse Help me I am in horse Help me I am In horse Help me I am In Horse Help me I am in horse
9.	I Don't Know Just Horse Stuff I Guess 02:59	lyrics	buy track
Running around when I'm in the gallops Nibbling your fingers cos they look like carrots Eating my food from a bag on my nose Going clip clop with my hoofs These are the things that a horse does Horse can't sing I shouldn't even be talking Given my natural disadvantages it's frankly astonishing That I manage to write songs at all The secret is keeping it simple, sticking to what you know And what I know is horse puns My secret ingredient is picking a quiet part of the song And dropping in a horse pun For example in this section I could point out that Buckfast is a horse pun No My friends, I have committed a grave error I have wasted what is undoubtedly my strongest horse pun On this bizarre piece of meta-humour What have I done What have I done What have I done What have I done
10.	Only Fuels And Horses 03:10	lyrics	buy track
Clippety Cloppety Clippety Cloppety Clippety Cloppety Clippety Cloppety Only fuels and horses Petrol Hoers gonna fuck you up Clippety Cloppety Clippety Cloppety Clippety Cloppety Clippety Cloppety Only fuels and horses Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face Why the long face

about

I HOPE YOU LIKE THIS ALBOM THAT I MADE :3

MUCH LOVE TO MY STAGE IDIOTS: PARTY PIG, EL YERBERITO BURRA, BEN ATOMGRINDER, PETROL COW, PETROL POODLE, WESLEY STRIPES, COUNT NOSFERATU, SCARY BEAR, BIG-FACED GRUMPY CAT, DON'T TALK TO ME OR MY HORSE EVER AGAIN AND A FOXY BOI.

STAY HYDRATED AND USE EAR PROTECTION.

credits

released August 31, 2019

All music written by Petrol Hoers
All words written by Petrol Hoers except tracks 4, 5 and 6 written by Petrol Hoers and Ben Atomgrinder
All music recorded and produced by Petrol hoers in his stables
All vocals recorded by Dave Boothroyd @ Reel Recording Studio except voiceover in tracks 1 and 3 recorded and performed by Scott Atkinson
Cover photo by Scott Atkinson Photography
Graphic design by Matt Buckley

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PETROL HOERS York, UK

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