Please note intentional misspelling of horse

by PETROL HOERS

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Monty McDoom 2022 album of the year for me. The perfect combination of jokiness and serious subject matter, riffs, donks and beats. Looking forward to hearing what Mr Hoers has for us in the future! Favorite track: What's in a name?.

Slam T. "Badd" Badger Probably the most creative, eclectic, and prolific artist in The Clown Army. Constantly shaming my laziness at music making. Favorite track: Perpetual unit.

Dave Poole Favourite Track: Captain Me, Space Daddy
Hot fact: It's a Bum Bag
Point of Irritation: Mis-spelling of Hoers on the albom cover

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Full Digital Discography

7

releases

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Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Please note intentional misspelling of horse, 21 Viral Hits, Oh I Don't Know, Just Horse Stuff, I Guess, LIVE ALBOM, THE SAME AGAIN BUT WITH THE WORDS ARE DIFFERENT, REALLY GOOD AND SEXY, and ALBOM. , and , .

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1.	It's just a mask 03:00	lyrics
It’s time for me to share with you A secret that I bear About the face that I present About the mask I wear It is my sincere hope my Indiscretion you’ll excuse I’m not always a happy horse That’s just a cunning ruse You see, my seasonal depression And my regular depression Have teamed with isolation To stifle my expression Unrelenting doom scrolling Has become my obsession I'm not doing very well I must confess When see me trotting down the street Head held high hooves dropping to the beat You will say everything’s not ok Still the horse goes neigh I like to imagine that I Have it all worked out I’m happy, focussed, thriving And not paralysed by doubt Honestly it helps me to just Get by day to day And if it helps me feel better Who cares if it’s fake You see, my seasonal depression And my regular depression Have teamed with isolation To stifle my expression Unrelenting doom scrolling Has become my obsession I'm not doing very well I must confess When see me trotting down the street Head held high hooves dropping to the beat You will say everything’s not ok Still the horse goes neigh It’s just a mask and that’s ok It’s ok to not be ok just being is enough The stigma starts to break down when we talk about this stuff It’s ok to not be ok just being is enough The stigma starts to break down when we talk about this stuff It’s ok to not be ok just being is enough The stigma starts to break down when we talk about this stuff It’s ok to not be ok just being is enough The stigma starts to break down when we talk about this stuff When see me trotting down the street Head held high hooves dropping to the beat You will say everything’s not ok Still the horse goes neigh When see me trotting down the street Head held high hooves dropping to the beat You will say everything’s not ok Still the horse goes neigh It’s just a mask and that’s ok
2.	I would die for Mr Crunchy 02:44	lyrics
Gammons shooting game for sport Leave voters with blue passports Gamergaters, right-wing losers Spineless domestic abusers Laughing landlords leeching rent The entire UK government Profit seekers in healthcare Every single billionaire I hope your next shit’s a hedgehog I hope it comes out backwards But not a real hedgehog You should be kind to hedgehogs Mirthless loser Linehan Unholy queen of terfs Joanne Queerphobic punks with tedious songs The royal family’s sweat-free nonce Tech bros with their NFTs Transphobes in the BBC Anti vaxxers spreading rot Every cop, every cop I hope your next shit’s a hedgehog I hope it comes out backwards But not a real hedgehog You should be kind to hedgehogs I have a hedgehog friend Living in my garden I call him Mr Crunchy Because I hear him eating I made a little shelter That is where I feed him He deserves my kindness He deserves my kindness I hope your next shit’s a hedgehog I hope it comes out backwards But not a real hedgehog You should be kind to hedgehogs I hope your next shit’s a hedgehog I hope it comes out backwards But not a real hedgehog You should be kind to hedgehogs
3.	Captain me, space daddy 03:21	lyrics
If I had a spaceship Well that would rule I would fly round the galaxy Just looking cool We could cruise around just having adventures No one would tell us what we could do No gods no masters just spaceships and blasters Nothing would matter but me and my crew With no one trying to rule us We’d be happy, we’d be free We would not be leaderless The captain I would be If my crew did not like it I would Put them over my knee And this is what They would say to me Captain me, captain me, space daddy Captain me, captain me, space daddy Captain me, captain me, space daddy Captain me, captain me, space daddy I got distracted This isn't a sex thing It's not a sex thing Don't look at me like that I just want to imagine being a space captain Facing adversity and fighting through it And if that means wearing a sexy uniform Then yes, I would be amenable to it Don’t claim that you can’t see it Please do not play dumb A warp nacelle possesses an inherent Eroticism And I just think we should explore The possibilities Afforded to us by Zero-G Captain me, captain me, space daddy Captain me, captain me, space daddy Captain me, captain me, space daddy Captain me, captain me, space daddy There is only one rule you must know When I give the order you will make it so Only one rule you must know When I give the order you will make it so Captain me, captain me, space daddy Captain me, captain me, space daddy Captain me, captain me, space daddy Captain me, captain me, space daddy
4.	Honk if you like donk 03:04	lyrics
Honk if you like donk Honk Honk Honk if you like donk Honk Honk If you like donk I thought I had things figured out but recently I realized My personal reality is not quite what I theorized I had lost a piece of me, the impact left me paralysed The implications were immense and terrifying So now I lie awake at night and I worry and fret And I ask myself the questions I’d prefer to forget Is everything truly as as it seems Do I actually like donk or do I only like donk memes Honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk Honk honk honk honk honk honk Honk if you like donk Honk Honk Honk if you like donk Honk Honk If you like donk An existential crisis of unprecedented potency An idle introspective thought has shattered my reality Do I know anything real or is there only parody I have lost my sense of self the internet has ruined me Abandoned by humanity and left to fade My self ripped from from my mind; I have been unmade I throw back my head and at the sky I scream Do I actually like donk or do I only like donk memes Honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk Honk honk honk honk honk honk Honk if you like donk Honk Honk Honk if you like donk Honk Honk If you like donk Honk if you like donk Honk Honk Honk if you like donk Honk Honk If you like donk
5.	Perpetual unit 02:48	lyrics
I might have put on a couple of pounds I want to be triangle but am round I can feel my trousers tearing I bought them special, supposed to be hard wearing I know precisely what the problem is I consume in massive quantities I need fuel to give me energy That excuse does not even fool me I lift because I'm large I'm large because I lift I think I have been cursed to be A perpetual unit I lift because I'm large I'm large because I lift I think I have been cursed to be A perpetual unit Shake, protein shake, eggs, chips and gravy Gotta fuel up cos it's getting heavy Belt is creaking, jeans are getting tight Mass increasing. Guts are sexy, right I lift because I'm large I'm large because I lift I think I have been cursed to be A perpetual unit I lift because I'm large I'm large because I lift I think I have been cursed to be A perpetual unit No I don't, no I don't wanna go Don't wanna go and do any cardio No I don't, no I don't wanna go Don't wanna go and do any cardio No I don't, no I don't wanna go Don't wanna go and do any cardio No I don't, no I don't wanna go Don't wanna go and do any cardio I lift because I'm large I'm large because I lift I think I have been cursed to be A perpetual unit I lift because I'm large I'm large because I lift I think I have been cursed to be A perpetual unit I lift because I'm large I'm large because I lift I think I have been cursed to be A perpetual unit I lift because I'm large I'm large because I lift I think I have been cursed to be A perpetual unit
6.	You can give a horse a Buckfast 02:51	lyrics
You can give a horse a buckfast But you'll never see me drink I've been there and I've done that And I've stepped back from the brink Why will you not drink the booze Is there something wrong with you You know you used to be cool Now we won't hang out with you I don't want to pass out on pub toilet floors again Or not remember the start of my set by the end I don't want to have to leave the stage to go be sick It was funny for a while but now I am done with it You can give a horse a buckfast But you'll never see me drink I've been there and I've done that And I've stepped back from the brink Are your choices meant as shade Do you mock our drinking ways What has made you act so strange Do not expect us to change I don't want to pass out on pub toilet floors again Or not remember the start of my set by the end I don't want to have to leave the stage to go be sick It was funny for a while but now I am done with it You can give a horse a buckfast But you'll never see me drink I've been there and I've done that And I've stepped back from the brink You can give a horse a buckfast But you'll never see me drink I've been there and I've done that And I've stepped back from the brink
7.	How many times 02:21	lyrics
How many times should you polish a turd How many times How many times How many times should you polish a turd How many times How many times How many times should you polish a turd How many times How many times How many times should you polish a turd How many times How many times Trying to finish off this track Bit by bit it just takes time Won’t someone think of the sunk cost I’m going to get this done So I rub rub rub And I give little buff Should I keep on polishing Or will this be enough Can I make it work Is this a waste of time I can’t stop until I give This turd a mirror shine How many times should you polish a turd How many times How many times How many times should you polish a turd How many times How many times How many times should you polish a turd How many times How many times How many times should you polish a turd How many times How many times Everything is make is trash Piece by piece I make it treasure Creation is a nightmare From which I cannot wake So I rub rub rub And I give little buff Should I keep on polishing Or will this be enough Can I make it work Is this a waste of time I can’t stop until I give This turd a mirror shine Is it shiny yet? No! Keep on rubbing It’s done when it’s done Keep on rubbing Is it shiny yet? No! Keep on rubbing I can make it work I just have to keep scrubbing How many times should you polish a turd How many times How many times How many times should you polish a turd How many times How many times How many times should you polish a turd How many times How many times How many times should you polish a turd How many times How many times How many times should you polish a turd How many times How many times How many times should you polish a turd How many times How many times How many times should you polish a turd How many times How many times How many times should you polish a turd How many times How many times
8.	What's in a name? 03:16	lyrics
My burdens are great I have no way to carry their terrible weight I have made a mistake My hooves are full and they're starting to ache The solution is clear I need to explore a new fashion frontier A bag for my rear In which I can carry all of my gear Now we discuss the only flaw Of one object with two names Neither of them are descriptive enough And both kind of fill me with shame Is it a bumbag Bumbag Bumbag Or fanny pack Fanny pack Recognise the need to accessorise Practicality isn't compromised Pockets with zips what's to hate Clips on a strap for your waist Don't listen to the haters The bagless losers, the pocketless fakers They're jealous that they're not equipped With a cool looking bag on their hips The duality of bag Is what I must now confront One name for when you wear it at the back The other when it's at the front Is it a bumbag Bumbag Bumbag Or fanny pack Fanny pack Is it a bumbag Bumbag Bumbag Or fanny pack Fanny pack Is it a bumbag Bumbag Bumbag Or fanny pack Fanny pack
9.	Biblically accurate horse 03:15	lyrics
Instant one horse party Just add soundsystem These quadrupedal dance moves You can't resist em I am unstoppable More god than horse now The rhythm in my soul Is an overwhelming force now Super chaos disco deluxe Horse party animal horse party animal Hooves on the dance floor are tearing it up Horse party animal horse party animal I strode the stage primordial The stars danced to my beat Sound wave supernova Can you take the heat There is no escaping I am endless I will never die While my beats are remembered Super chaos disco deluxe Horse party animal horse party animal Hooves on the dance floor are tearing it up Horse party animal horse party animal You followed me here This I avow Horses are all beautiful You are a horse now Open your eyes To witness the truth See the horse in me As I see the horse in you Super chaos disco deluxe Horse party animal horse party animal Hooves on the dance floor are tearing it up Horse party animal horse party animal Super chaos disco deluxe Horse party animal horse party animal Hooves on the dance floor are tearing it up Horse party animal horse party animal

about

THANK YOU TO ALL OF MY HORSE FANS I AM SO HAPPY YOU LIKE MY SILLY HORSE BAND I REALLY APPRECIATE ALL THE SUPPORT YOU SHOW ME ONLINE AND AT GIGS AND I HOPE I CAN KEEP BEING THE BEST HORSE I CAN BE FOR ALL OF YOU

BIG LOVE TO MY STAGE DANCERS WHO MAKE MY LIVE SHOWS EXTRA SPECIAL: THE COW, THE MILKMAID, GROOVY GOOSE, EL YERBERITO BURRA

credits

released August 26, 2022

All words and music written and performed by Petrol Hoers except additional vocals in "It's just a mask" performed by Emily (Def Neon) and additional Honks in "Honk if you like donk" performed and recorded by members of the Petrol Hoers Symphony Honkestra
All music recorded and produced by Petrol Hoers at Horse Box Studios
All vocals recorded by Dave Boothroyd at 6db Studios, York, UK
Mastered by Jules Seifert @ Epic Audio Media, London, UK
Horse mask and 'space daddy' artwork (and tattoos of same) by Swamp Queen Art

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PETROL HOERS York, UK

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