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1. |
It's just a mask
03:00
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It’s time for me to share with you
A secret that I bear
About the face that I present
About the mask I wear
It is my sincere hope my
Indiscretion you’ll excuse
I’m not always a happy horse
That’s just a cunning ruse
You see, my seasonal depression
And my regular depression
Have teamed with isolation
To stifle my expression
Unrelenting doom scrolling
Has become my obsession
I'm not doing very well I must confess
When see me trotting down the street
Head held high hooves dropping to the beat
You will say everything’s not ok
Still the horse goes neigh
I like to imagine that I
Have it all worked out
I’m happy, focussed, thriving
And not paralysed by doubt
Honestly it helps me to just
Get by day to day
And if it helps me feel better
Who cares if it’s fake
You see, my seasonal depression
And my regular depression
Have teamed with isolation
To stifle my expression
Unrelenting doom scrolling
Has become my obsession
I'm not doing very well I must confess
When see me trotting down the street
Head held high hooves dropping to the beat
You will say everything’s not ok
Still the horse goes neigh
It’s just a mask and that’s ok
It’s ok to not be ok just being is enough
The stigma starts to break down when we talk about this stuff
It’s ok to not be ok just being is enough
The stigma starts to break down when we talk about this stuff
It’s ok to not be ok just being is enough
The stigma starts to break down when we talk about this stuff
It’s ok to not be ok just being is enough
The stigma starts to break down when we talk about this stuff
When see me trotting down the street
Head held high hooves dropping to the beat
You will say everything’s not ok
Still the horse goes neigh
When see me trotting down the street
Head held high hooves dropping to the beat
You will say everything’s not ok
Still the horse goes neigh
It’s just a mask and that’s ok
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2. |
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Gammons shooting game for sport
Leave voters with blue passports
Gamergaters, right-wing losers
Spineless domestic abusers
Laughing landlords leeching rent
The entire UK government
Profit seekers in healthcare
Every single billionaire
I hope your next shit’s a hedgehog
I hope it comes out backwards
But not a real hedgehog
You should be kind to hedgehogs
Mirthless loser Linehan
Unholy queen of terfs Joanne
Queerphobic punks with tedious songs
The royal family’s sweat-free nonce
Tech bros with their NFTs
Transphobes in the BBC
Anti vaxxers spreading rot
Every cop, every cop
I hope your next shit’s a hedgehog
I hope it comes out backwards
But not a real hedgehog
You should be kind to hedgehogs
I have a hedgehog friend
Living in my garden
I call him Mr Crunchy
Because I hear him eating
I made a little shelter
That is where I feed him
He deserves my kindness
He deserves my kindness
I hope your next shit’s a hedgehog
I hope it comes out backwards
But not a real hedgehog
You should be kind to hedgehogs
I hope your next shit’s a hedgehog
I hope it comes out backwards
But not a real hedgehog
You should be kind to hedgehogs
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3. |
Captain me, space daddy
03:21
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If I had a spaceship
Well that would rule
I would fly round the galaxy
Just looking cool
We could cruise around just having adventures
No one would tell us what we could do
No gods no masters just spaceships and blasters
Nothing would matter but me and my crew
With no one trying to rule us
We’d be happy, we’d be free
We would not be leaderless
The captain I would be
If my crew did not like it I would
Put them over my knee
And this is what
They would say to me
Captain me, captain me, space daddy
Captain me, captain me, space daddy
Captain me, captain me, space daddy
Captain me, captain me, space daddy
I got distracted
This isn't a sex thing
It's not a sex thing
Don't look at me like that
I just want to imagine being a space captain
Facing adversity and fighting through it
And if that means wearing a sexy uniform
Then yes, I would be amenable to it
Don’t claim that you can’t see it
Please do not play dumb
A warp nacelle possesses an inherent
Eroticism
And I just think we should explore
The possibilities
Afforded to us by
Zero-G
Captain me, captain me, space daddy
Captain me, captain me, space daddy
Captain me, captain me, space daddy
Captain me, captain me, space daddy
There is only one rule you must know
When I give the order you will make it so
Only one rule you must know
When I give the order you will make it so
Captain me, captain me, space daddy
Captain me, captain me, space daddy
Captain me, captain me, space daddy
Captain me, captain me, space daddy
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4. |
Honk if you like donk
03:04
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Honk if you like donk
Honk
Honk
Honk if you like donk
Honk
Honk
If you like donk
I thought I had things figured out but recently I realized
My personal reality is not quite what I theorized
I had lost a piece of me, the impact left me paralysed
The implications were immense and terrifying
So now I lie awake at night and I worry and fret
And I ask myself the questions I’d prefer to forget
Is everything truly as as it seems
Do I actually like donk or do I only like donk memes
Honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk
Honk honk honk honk honk honk
Honk if you like donk
Honk
Honk
Honk if you like donk
Honk
Honk
If you like donk
An existential crisis of unprecedented potency
An idle introspective thought has shattered my reality
Do I know anything real or is there only parody
I have lost my sense of self the internet has ruined me
Abandoned by humanity and left to fade
My self ripped from from my mind; I have been unmade
I throw back my head and at the sky I scream
Do I actually like donk or do I only like donk memes
Honk honk honk honk honk honk honk honk
Honk honk honk honk honk honk
Honk if you like donk
Honk
Honk
Honk if you like donk
Honk
Honk
If you like donk
Honk if you like donk
Honk
Honk
Honk if you like donk
Honk
Honk
If you like donk
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5. |
Perpetual unit
02:48
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I might have put on a couple of pounds
I want to be triangle but am round
I can feel my trousers tearing
I bought them special, supposed to be hard wearing
I know precisely what the problem is
I consume in massive quantities
I need fuel to give me energy
That excuse does not even fool me
I lift because I'm large
I'm large because I lift
I think I have been cursed to be
A perpetual unit
I lift because I'm large
I'm large because I lift
I think I have been cursed to be
A perpetual unit
Shake, protein shake, eggs, chips and gravy
Gotta fuel up cos it's getting heavy
Belt is creaking, jeans are getting tight
Mass increasing. Guts are sexy, right
I lift because I'm large
I'm large because I lift
I think I have been cursed to be
A perpetual unit
I lift because I'm large
I'm large because I lift
I think I have been cursed to be
A perpetual unit
No I don't, no I don't wanna go
Don't wanna go and do any cardio
No I don't, no I don't wanna go
Don't wanna go and do any cardio
No I don't, no I don't wanna go
Don't wanna go and do any cardio
No I don't, no I don't wanna go
Don't wanna go and do any cardio
I lift because I'm large
I'm large because I lift
I think I have been cursed to be
A perpetual unit
I lift because I'm large
I'm large because I lift
I think I have been cursed to be
A perpetual unit
I lift because I'm large
I'm large because I lift
I think I have been cursed to be
A perpetual unit
I lift because I'm large
I'm large because I lift
I think I have been cursed to be
A perpetual unit
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6. |
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You can give a horse a buckfast
But you'll never see me drink
I've been there and I've done that
And I've stepped back from the brink
Why will you not drink the booze
Is there something wrong with you
You know you used to be cool
Now we won't hang out with you
I don't want to pass out on pub toilet floors again
Or not remember the start of my set by the end
I don't want to have to leave the stage to go be sick
It was funny for a while but now I am done with it
You can give a horse a buckfast
But you'll never see me drink
I've been there and I've done that
And I've stepped back from the brink
Are your choices meant as shade
Do you mock our drinking ways
What has made you act so strange
Do not expect us to change
I don't want to pass out on pub toilet floors again
Or not remember the start of my set by the end
I don't want to have to leave the stage to go be sick
It was funny for a while but now I am done with it
You can give a horse a buckfast
But you'll never see me drink
I've been there and I've done that
And I've stepped back from the brink
You can give a horse a buckfast
But you'll never see me drink
I've been there and I've done that
And I've stepped back from the brink
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7. |
How many times
02:21
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How many times should you polish a turd
How many times
How many times
How many times should you polish a turd
How many times
How many times
How many times should you polish a turd
How many times
How many times
How many times should you polish a turd
How many times
How many times
Trying to finish off this track
Bit by bit it just takes time
Won’t someone think of the sunk cost
I’m going to get this done
So I rub rub rub
And I give little buff
Should I keep on polishing
Or will this be enough
Can I make it work
Is this a waste of time
I can’t stop until I give
This turd a mirror shine
How many times should you polish a turd
How many times
How many times
How many times should you polish a turd
How many times
How many times
How many times should you polish a turd
How many times
How many times
How many times should you polish a turd
How many times
How many times
Everything is make is trash
Piece by piece I make it treasure
Creation is a nightmare
From which I cannot wake
So I rub rub rub
And I give little buff
Should I keep on polishing
Or will this be enough
Can I make it work
Is this a waste of time
I can’t stop until I give
This turd a mirror shine
Is it shiny yet? No!
Keep on rubbing
It’s done when it’s done
Keep on rubbing
Is it shiny yet? No!
Keep on rubbing
I can make it work
I just have to keep scrubbing
How many times should you polish a turd
How many times
How many times
How many times should you polish a turd
How many times
How many times
How many times should you polish a turd
How many times
How many times
How many times should you polish a turd
How many times
How many times
How many times should you polish a turd
How many times
How many times
How many times should you polish a turd
How many times
How many times
How many times should you polish a turd
How many times
How many times
How many times should you polish a turd
How many times
How many times
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8. |
What's in a name?
03:16
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My burdens are great
I have no way to carry their terrible weight
I have made a mistake
My hooves are full and they're starting to ache
The solution is clear
I need to explore a new fashion frontier
A bag for my rear
In which I can carry all of my gear
Now we discuss the only flaw
Of one object with two names
Neither of them are descriptive enough
And both kind of fill me with shame
Is it a bumbag
Bumbag
Bumbag
Or fanny pack
Fanny pack
Recognise the need to accessorise
Practicality isn't compromised
Pockets with zips what's to hate
Clips on a strap for your waist
Don't listen to the haters
The bagless losers, the pocketless fakers
They're jealous that they're not equipped
With a cool looking bag on their hips
The duality of bag
Is what I must now confront
One name for when you wear it at the back
The other when it's at the front
Is it a bumbag
Bumbag
Bumbag
Or fanny pack
Fanny pack
Is it a bumbag
Bumbag
Bumbag
Or fanny pack
Fanny pack
Is it a bumbag
Bumbag
Bumbag
Or fanny pack
Fanny pack
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9. |
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Instant one horse party
Just add soundsystem
These quadrupedal dance moves
You can't resist em
I am unstoppable
More god than horse now
The rhythm in my soul
Is an overwhelming force now
Super chaos disco deluxe
Horse party animal horse party animal
Hooves on the dance floor are tearing it up
Horse party animal horse party animal
I strode the stage primordial
The stars danced to my beat
Sound wave supernova
Can you take the heat
There is no escaping
I am endless
I will never die
While my beats are remembered
Super chaos disco deluxe
Horse party animal horse party animal
Hooves on the dance floor are tearing it up
Horse party animal horse party animal
You followed me here
This I avow
Horses are all beautiful
You are a horse now
Open your eyes
To witness the truth
See the horse in me
As I see the horse in you
Super chaos disco deluxe
Horse party animal horse party animal
Hooves on the dance floor are tearing it up
Horse party animal horse party animal
Super chaos disco deluxe
Horse party animal horse party animal
Hooves on the dance floor are tearing it up
Horse party animal horse party animal
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